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Ponies Bite: And Other Realities of Being a Software Santa

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Jingle, jingle, jingle “Ho, ho, ho!” What’s that sound? Is it the jolly old man in the red suit with the jiggly belly? The man with the rosy cheeks and white beard? Well… not exactly.

If you’re a software salesman, that jolly sound should be coming from you!

Your experience talking to software buyers is (or should be) a lot like Santa’s experience talking to kids. Some know exactly what they want; others have no idea. Some happily sit in your lap; others are terrified at the sight of you.  Some are believers; others simply go through the motions with encouragement from others. But as Santa, you have a job to do:

1.      Find out what they need. When a software buyer comes and “sits on your lap” for a phone call or demo, focus on their needs. This is your time to listen. Talk to them about their pain points and the problems they’re trying to solve with a software purchase. Santa doesn’t list every toy in his workshop in an attempt to get kids excited, and you shouldn’t list all of your software’s features either.

2.      Find out what they want. Once you determine your software can meet their basic needs, it’s time to get into what else you can help them with. Finding out where your software capabilities match up with their “wants” is a great way to differentiate your products from the competition’s. When I took my daughter to see Santa this year, she told him she wanted a pony. And, lucky for me, the savvy Santa knew to ask what kind of pony. He saved me a trip to the farm and thousands of dollars by clarifying that all she really wanted was a “My Little Pony.”

3.      Don’t promise what you can’t deliver. If my daughter would have wanted a real pony, I’d be counting on Santa to help her understand she probably (definitely) wouldn’t be getting one. He’d have to tell her something like “I’ll check with the elves, but I don’t know if the ponies are ready to move to Washington, D.C. this year.” And, if she persisted, maybe it would have to end with a harsh reality like… “Sorry kid, but ponies bite.” Either way, it’s Santa’s job to make sure the kids aren’t set up to be disappointed. When talking to prospects, don’t be a “yes” Santa. Be an honest Santa. It won’t do either of you any good to make promises you can’t keep. Maybe you don’t have exactly what the buyer needs at this point in time; but by giving them a good experience you will: 1) save yourself from scathing reviews later on and 2) build a relationship that will make them want to come back.

My daughter recently asked if Santa is just some guy who lives at the North Pole and sells presents around Christmas. I told her to ask her dad (I’m not equipped to handle those deep questions). But the truth is, Santa doesn’t just live on the North Pole. Software Santa is everywhere. Happy Holidays!


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